It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Tuesday, August 30
There is enuff food in the back office right now to start a food bank…All that’s missing is government cheese…Recall the freezer is still stuffed with Assistant Front Desk Manager Q’s fish sticks and earlier in the week some wizard had left us a large burlap sack of corn and if you’re wondering why/how someone on the road has is carrying around a sack of corn with them, well, you aren’t the only one.
And we’re talking fresh from the field, still in the husk corn…I don’t understand this at all: what in theeeee hell compelled someone to think that a group of hotel front desk clerks would want their goddamned, unwanted, surplus corn.
Look, here’s a Sparrow ProTip (SPT) from me to you: we don’t want any of your unwanted steaming piles…Unless it’s pizza…We’ll take pizza…But that’s it…Your unwanted cake, half-eaten burgers, discarded salads, shove them up your ass because we work for money, are not broke, and can afford our own food…There’s a sack of peaches, too.
Then there were some gift boxes for a wedding party taking up space at the front desk over the weekend and most of them were not issued and Chris, during some slow time tonite, removed all the stuff, sorted it out, and put it all in boxes, and left it in the back office.
The packages included candy and those Goldfish crackers and some of those peanut butter snack crackers, plus water that came in what more resembled a milk carton than anything else that some research showed was actually from a municipal water supply in upstate New York…There was some Advil in there, too, which is hardly a classic gift box item but whoever made up the gift boxes probably had them laying around.
The big news is the microwave on top of the refrigerator in the back office isn’t working…Well, it turns on and spins your stuff around but it doesn’t heat anything and now that we think about it, this seems to have happened in the fast and some magic wand was waved by someone and it started working again.
Unfortunately, we don’t have the magic wand, so we were obliged to infiltrate the restaurant to see if there was a microwave and we weren’t entirely sure they’d have one…On the one hand, sure, you’d expect a fully equipped restaurant to have all types of heating elements on hand but, you know, it’s a restaurant what nice restaurant cooks with microwaves???…As it was, there was one, tucked away in the back in what we think is the salad prep area, tho why they need a microwave for salad prep was not immediately clear.
About 0230 a couple of railroad workers showed up in the lobby, waiting for the van to pick them up…They waited a while because evidently the gal who was driving her route got mixed up and then, of course, she got lost and eventually they said screw it and went back to their rooms and right as yours truly was finishing fussing with Morning Coffee Service (MCS), this rather large woman waddles in and announces she’s looking for two guys to take to work…I told her they went back to bed, but it would be a simple matter to call their rooms and rustle them up.
About 0630 a real estate investor comes by to make some small talk, which is to be interpreted as he wanted to blab and ol’ Sparrow was chosen as the receptacle…Eventually, we told him we owned a place in the small town and he said its value has probably “skyrocketed” in value, which it has, and he asked me if I’ve “harvested” the house or whether we’re going to stay there…Well, I told him we’re mindful of The Shire’s ever-increasing value, but we do need a place to live and we’re rather happy where we are now…He nodded and said he understood.
Inspired by this conversation, we checked The Shire’s value at that real estate site and, get this, its value is now estimated at 381K…I am not making that up…This is bonkers and if it keeps going up we might well consider harvesting it…But it would have to go up a lot more and there would have to be a very eager buyer willing to pay a premium amount for a corner lot next to a weed store that could probably be redesignated commercial without too much difficulty.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1000 Tuesday until 2130 Tuesday…11.5 hours for the day and 24.5 hours for the week, both really strong totals.
We strongly suspected this would be a great sleep session because we started yawning about 0400 and took our usual Tuesday shot of Zzz-Sleep and only the only surprise was that we didn’t fall asleep sooner.
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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!
