It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, August 20
Amy and I shared a laff tonite…I had just favored everyone with my appearance at the front desk when this woman – nowhere near ol’ Sparrow’s wheelhouse, a point that will become important here in a bit – comes up to buy some sundry stand stuff: chips, a candy bar, and a soda…She’s pretty chatty, too, and I can see Amy glancing at me out of the corner of her eye and when the gal who, again, could not be farther out of the wheelhouse if she had a passport, gives me a $5 tip, Amy can be seen fighting off laughter…The woman leaves soon enuff.
– Amy, why are you laughing???
– Sparrow, she was flirting with you!!!
– Get out of here…
– Why do you think she gave you a five-dollar tip on a four-dollar purchase???
She was so far out of the wheelhouse I had been completely oblivious to it…Either that or she is a lousy flirter.
– Oh…So it wasn’t for efficient handling of her purchase?
Then a horror hit:
– Amy, what if she wants me to put out????????????
I was almost hissing.
– I mean, is five bucks enuff???…Is that the going rate for guys???
Amy laffed and said she had no idea what the going rate for guys is and left me to fend for myself.
There’s a sign on the back whiteboard – where the reward club signup totals used to be posted – advising folks to please make sure you drop your cash…It was unsigned and wasn’t addressed to anyone specific tho those keeping score at home know it had to have been meant for Amy and Assistant Front Desk Manager Q because both of them are notorious for never doing their drops and both seemed to think prizes would be awarded for non-compliance because both of their drawers were, as usual, off.
Two rooms needed comforters tonite and one room had the nerve to ask for a rollaway and extra pillows…Folks, here’s a Sparrow ProTip: this is bad form and requesting rollaways and other stuff for extra sleepers should be taken care of at check-in because it’s not as if you just now realized you need extra bedding…This isn’t reasonable…You knew it when you checked in and you probably even knew when you made the reservation but you waited hoping to pass the matter off on some hapless nite auditor…This is generally not too bad a strategy actually, unless you try it on me…The rollaway request was dismissed out of hand (“I’m sorry, they’re all out for the nite”, a blatant lie.), but we were able to deliver to comforters, tho we couldn’t find extra pillows.
There were some walk-ins, too, and all this activity meant yours truly didn’t even start counting the drawers until midnite, tho we hustled and had everything done by 0100.
We ordered some flannel sheets this morning, too…We didn’t fall asleep as fast as we usually do on Saturdays (we have no idea why; see Sleep Log below) so we were farting around online and thought about flannel sheets…Longtime readers of this crap will recall we haven’t rolled with flannel sheets for years, ever since The Ex bought those electric bed pad heaters that do a good job of making your bed nice and toasty…But this morning flannel sheets sounded nice and comfy to slide into this winter so there we were looking for them…And after a minute or two it hit us: go to the Old New England store site where we bought our blanket and tablecloth from and BOOM is short order we found an ivory/red plaid deal that will contrast with our red plaid blanket nicely…Interior designers in the audience might recoil in horror at plaid-on-plaid but, over two years after The Ex left, the cabin is a hovel now and stuff like this is par for the course now.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1200 Sunday until 2130 Sunday…9.5 hours for the day and 52.0 hours for the week…We’re as happy the 50-hour sleep week remains commonplace as you are.
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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!
