The Daily Dose/Sunday, March 13, 2022

The Daily Dose/March 13, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Russian/Ukrainian War There is no way this ends well for anybody…Ukraine will be leveled, Putin, as savage and misguided as Hitler, will end up dead, either murdered by loyal generals, by his people, or by a war crimes tribunal…The West, wisely unwilling to risk nuclear anihilation, will end up more impotent than ever. 

2. Russian/Ukrainian War II Putin is already unjustly and savagely invading a country that was not a threat to him and he’s attacking hospitals and nuclear plants as SB5 pollsters “strongly suspect” a palace coup led by James Bond remains the only safe solution to this imbroglio. 

3. Donald Trump Still a lying sexual predator who will always have blood on his hands for an ignorant, incompetent coronavirus response, though a partisan, bickering citizenry bears some of this burden, too…SB% pollsters “strongly suspect” Trump still believes that 1) the moon is part of Mars and that 2) the Revolution was won by Continental Army securing British airports. 

4. NFL – You know guys, you get into bed with sportsbooks you should not be surprised when players start betting, too…And even though they were small, half-baked bets your aunt in Reno knows were completely whack, Calvin Ridley deserves his suspension…SB5 pollsters remain “pretty sure”  having teams and leagues receiving revenue from sportsbooks is just asking for trouble.   

5. Major League Baseball Not that anybody cares, but lockout is over…Yay: both 7-inning games and that infernal runner on second in extra innings are gone…Boo: it is entirely possible that a tied All-Star Game will be decided by a home run derby…Yeah, really…Go read the CBA.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Today’s Diary entry is with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow (finally) offers a theory for the fluctuating gas mileage in the new ride. Today’s Diary. 

When gas mileage is good, cruise control is always used, to prevent ol’ Sparrow from speeding and getting pulled over…In the winter, tho, cruise control isn’t used all that much because you don’t want to use it on bad roads, even at slow speeds, because with cruise control you can’t take your foot off the gas, a pretty useful tool in the snow…

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On This Date
History’s long march. 

In 1567 – The Eighty Years’ War between provinces of what are now the Netherlands, Belgium, and Luxembourg against Spain begins with a Spanish victory in the Battle of Oosterweel near Antwerp. The war lasted 79 years and resulted in, among other things, the formation of the Dutch Republic separate from the Holy Roman Empire. History also refers to the war as the Dutch War of Independence. 

In 1961 – Floyd Patterson of the US retains his world heavyweight boxing title with a 6th-round knockout over Ingemar Johansson of Sweden at Exhibition Hall in Miami. It was the third meeting between the two fighters: in June 1959 Johansson had defeated Patterson for the title, a title Patterson regained the following June. Johansson would not fight for the world title again, though he later won the European championship, while Liston would lose the title to Sonny Liston the following year. 

In 1982 – The Go-Go’s are at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the second of six consecutive weeks with Beauty and the Beat. It was the first of five chart albums for the group, remains their only #1, and produced two Top 40 hits, Our Lips Are Sealed and We Got the Beat. The Go-Go’s formed in California in the late 1970s despite the fact none of the members knew how to play an instrument and it was the first album by an all-female band (as opposed to a group of singers like the Supremes) to hit #1. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

I have said to myself a thousand times that I should be happy if I were but as ignorant as my old neighbor; and yet it is a happiness which I do not desire.
Voltaire
The Good Brahmin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The 1935 Stanley Cup was won by the Montreal Maroons, who defeat the Toronto Maple Leafs 3 games to none. It was the second final Stanley Cup for the Maroons, who folded after the 1938 season. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

In what weight class at the 1952 Helsinki Summer Olympics did Floyd Patterson win a gold medal? – Answer next time!

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