The Daily Dose/January 3, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
So this is going on.
1. GOP – Please, give up challenging the election results…You lost…You are whining petulant children being led by the ultimate whining, petulant child…Why you’ve tolerated a leader who is a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars and who believes the Revolution was won by the Continental Army securing British airports will remain a mystery for the ages.
2. US Government – Thanks guys, but another $600 ain’t squat to an awful lot of people suffering because of your utterly bungled coronavirus response…Maybe some of the money you’re not sending out could be used to purchase industrial strength hand cleaner to wash the blood off your hands.
3. College Football – Just rename your playoff the Nick Saban Invitational…It would liven it up because it is really boring right now…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters, however, “pretty sure” any season that sees the Pinstripe Bowl canceled is “like, basically good and stuff.”
4. Snarf Burger – The early clubhouse leader for Burger of the Year, though Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters – still growing boys – remain “pretty sure” they wouldn’t present violent objection to a two-pound version…Fries OK, but onion rings created by Providence on seventh day.
5. President Trump Fact Check – With fact-checkers union scrambling to find work for soon to be out-of-work members, Sunday Bottom pollsters accepting nominations for new 5-hole staple…Click here for a review of fake news some wizards were believing this week…Provided by the Associated Press.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
It’s Read Free Sunday. Today’s entry is on the house.
The Diary of a Nobody – A tactical error obliges Sparrow to make a new urinal sign. Today’s Diary.
…yours truly was obliged to make a new sign for one of the urinals in the lobby men’s room…There are two urinals and one as a sign announcing it’s closed to comply with distancing regulations – one of the crapper stalls is closed, too, which I don’t understand at all – but I still use it because it’s my favorite…Well, I happened to, you know, get some product on it and not even ol’ Sparrow could let that go, so I went and made another one, tho there wasn’t any Scotch tape to be found, obliging me to use the packing tape.
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On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1521 – Pope Leo X issues a directive – formally known as a papal bull – excommunicating Martin Luther from the Catholic Church. This followed a papal bull from a year earlier threatening excommunication if Luther didn’t recant beliefs the church found dangerous. Leo was a bit slow to act, as Luther had posted his 95 theses on a church door in Wittenberg, Germany four years earlier. Over the years Lutherans, for some reason, have tried to get the excommunication lifted, but the Catholics have declined to do so.
In 1983 – Tony Dorsett of the Dallas Cowboys establishes a new NFL record for the longest run from scrimmage in a 31-27 loss to the Minnesota Vikings. Dorsett scored on a 99-yard touchdown run in the fourth quarter to break the record of 97 yards that had been done twice previously and his mark was tied in 2018 by Derrick Henry and, of course, can never be broken.
In 1970 – Diana Ross and the Supremes are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Best Selling Soul Singles chart – for the fourth and final consecutive week with Someday We’ll Be Together. It was the seventh of eight #1 soul songs for the group and the last one featuring Diana Ross. Earlier, the song had spent one week at #1 on the Hot 100 – its final #1 song of the 1960s – and had also peaked at #13 in Great Britain. Later in 1970, a version by Bill Anderson and Jan Howard peaked at #4 on Billboard’s country chart.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Like most compromises, it solves nothing, while prolonging – perhaps dangerously – the time of indecision.
Gore Vidal
Julian
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
The farthest Earth was from the sun this century came on July 4, 2019 when it was 94,513,216 miles away.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Where does Tony Dorsett rank on the NFL’s career rushing list? – Answer next time!
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