The Daily Dose/November 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.
1. COVID-19 – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” we can all continue to breathe on each other and wait for a vaccine or we can grab the bull by the horns, wear our masks, treat everyone but our cat as if they are wracked with COVID and make a dent in its spread.
2. College Football – Hey guys, any CFP winner is going to have a huge asterisk next to their names, so why not cancel it and kick it old school and play meaningless bowl games the last week of the year which, of course, except for CFP games is exactly what you’re doing now.
3. Lauren Daigle – Final regular entry for artist whose song You Say is in its 111th non-consecutive week at #1 on Billboard’s Hot Christian Singles chart, the new all-time record for most weeks at #1 on any Billboard chart…Success has Lutherans looking into releasing techno version of Te Deum Laudamus in hopes of breaking record by 2024
4. Federal Executions – Federal government conducts eighth execution of 2020 this week, despite fact country no safer with guy dead than they were with him locked up…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters don’t like rapists anymore than you do, but remain “pretty sure” no criminal anywhere deterred by Hall’s execution.
5. President Trump Fact Check – Outgoing US president still 5-hole staple, as fantasies about having won election continue…Click here for latest from Liar-in-Chief, from the Associated Press.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Of course it’s Read Free Sunday for The Diary. Don’t be silly.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow looks for a specific writing instrument.
…I was looking for a fine-point Sharpie…None were found…Not in my usual palace and not not in the drawer and not in the desk organizer…There were, however, eight of those money markers you use on currency to detect fakes…I’ve never understood why we have even one of these because we never use them…Had we used them it’s likely Heidi would not have accepted a fake C note that had FOR MOTION PICTURE PURPOSES stamped on it, a prop that is still kept in a drawer in the back office, just for funsies/educational purposes…I finally found a box of fine-tip Sharpies in the storage room.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1963 – President of the United States John F Kennedy is assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas. Texas Governor John Connally was also wounded and a bit more than an hour later Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested for Kennedy’s murder and the murder of a Dallas police officer. The Warren Commission – named after Earl Warren, the chief justice of the United States – formed by President Johnson, would find that Oswald acted alone, though nobody really believes that. Oswald himself would be shot to death two days later.
In 1986 – Mike Tyson becomes the youngest world’s heavyweight champion in history, defeating Trevor Berbick for the WBC title in Las Vegas. Tyson defeated Berbick by knockout at 2:35 of the second round. Tyson was 20 years old, a year younger than Floyd Patterson, who was 21 when he won the title in 1956. Tyson would later add the WBA and IBF titles and lost all three to Buster Douglas in 1990. It was Tyson’s 13th fight of 1986.
In 1952 – It’s in the Book by Johnny Standley is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to today’s Hot 100 – for the first of two consecutive weeks. The song was mostly a spoken word song, a novelty piece done in the manner of a revivalist minister preaching about Little Bo-Peep and was Standley’s only chart single. Due to the numerous Billboard pop charts at the time and the fact they generally had far fewer than 100 positions, research into other ultimate one-hit wonders of the era – acts whose only chart single went to #1 – was not conducted.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
If you don’t learn gratitude at the bottom…if you don’t learn strength at the bottom, how are you going to find it at the top?
Wes Watson
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The current hot air balloon altitude record is 68,986 feet by Vijaypat Singhania of India, in 2005. Higher marks have been achieved by balloons filled with helium.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many US presidents have been assassinated? – Answer next time!
