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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 6
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Long time Bottom Ten fan(s) know the fourth game of the season is key for those in the running for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy: it’s when you separate the contenders from the pretenders. You have the zany dreamers at 0-3 and those at 1-2 looking for the big break that can propel them straight to the Bottom Ten medal stand.
It was no different this year, as the Texans, Jets, Giants and Falcons all leveled down even further to move to 0-4 while there are no less than three teams who have lost three (3) straight after stumbling out of the gate with wins.
This week’s mess as the nags hit the backstretch:
1. Houston Texans (0-4; lost to Minnesota 31-23) – Only cursory second half interest from Texans prevents B-10 pollsters from trotting out classic “game not as close as score indicated” line…Texans 0-4 for first time since 2008…Next Loss: Jacksonville
2. Gotham City (0-8; NY Giants lost to LA Rams 17-9; NY Jets lost to Denver 37-28) – Battle for Ed Koch Cup – symbolic of New York City football ineptitude – still a dead heat as both Giants and Jets lose eminently loseable games…Protest by Jets fan(s) that they should have own ranking following loss to previously unvictoried Broncos denied by B-10 staffers…Next Loss: NY Giants: at Dallas; NY Jets: Arizona
3. Atlanta Falcons (0-4; lost to Green Bay 30-16) – Defense showing way to B-10 glory, giving up NFL-best 34.5 ppg…Sunday B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” Falcons first team ever to start 0-4 four (4) seasons after blowing Super Bowl to team whose quarterback now plays on east coast of Florida…Next Loss: Carolina
4. Washington Whatevers (1-3; lost to Baltimore 31-7) – Slow start blamed on team decision – in order to pay homage to past – of making players stay in teepees the night before games…Current three (3) game skid tied with Chargers, Jaguars for best amongst NFL’s victoried teams…Next Loss: Los Angeles Rams
5. Los Angeles Chargers (1-3; lost to Tampa Bay 38-31) – Chargers commitment to strong B-10 run to celebrate opening of new stadium hardly noticed in COVID era as no one would be coming to see them play anyway…Next Loss: at New Orleans (10/12)
6. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-3; lost to Cincinnati 33-25) – Another team coming on strong after opening week win, as clutch defense overcomes two (2) leads…Jaguars need big loss this week to get back on medal stand radar…Next Loss: at Houston
7. Dallas Cowboys (1-3; lost to Cleveland 49-38) – Cowboys make it look easy, blowing early 14-7 lead by giving up 34 (34) unanswered points …Cowboys would be winless if Falcons could recover onside kick but instead are merely another 1-3 team with problems…Next Loss: New York Giants
8. Detroit Lions (1-3; lost to New Orleans 35-29) – Defense takes center stage in this one, overcoming early 14-0 lead by giving up 35 unanswered points…Bye week coming at right time for Lions so they can rest up for brutal two week stretch against Jaguars, Falcons…Next Loss: at Jacksonville (10/18)
9. NFC East (3-12-1; lost to) – Already threatening to make mockery of race for Pete Rozelle Award – never particularly easy to do – given to league’s worst division, NFC East has no team with a winning record…Next Loss: Automatic NFL playoff berth for champion, as NFL considering farming champion out to Texas Pop Warner playoffs, WNBA, Seattle Mariners.
10. Minnesota Vikings (1-3; defeated Houston 31-23) – It’s hard to go winless in the NFL, but apparently it’s even harder to beat the Texans, as Vikings fall from ranks of unvictoried…Best hope for higher B-10 ranking rests on strength of schedule points should Texans continue to lose…Next Loss: at Seattle
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Jacksonville at Houston
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: New York Giants at Dallas
