The Daily Dose/October 6, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
OH, GOOD GRAVY: Despite the fact he is still sick with COVID-19, President Trump returned to the White House not wearing a mask. This is hardly a bulletin, it is merely the same ignorance and selfishness we’ve come to expect from a man who believes the moon is part Mars, who has no regard for anything or anyone other than himself.
Quotebook: A quote from him illustrated this perfectly, as if another example is needed:
Don’t be afraid of it. You’re going to beat it. We have the best medical equipment, we have the best medicines.
Well, he does, of course, because no expense is spared in caring for the president of the United States. And on a percentage basis, you probably will survive COVID; the death rate for closed cases is about 4%
Fly In The Ointment: But over 200,000 Americans didn’t beat it, didn’t have the best equipment or the best medicines. Or if they did, it didn’t do them any good. And there is no guarantee Trump will beat it, either. He is still sick, he is still old, he still has no brains and no sense and is still ignoring everything except what he wants to do.
The Bottom Line: Our president continues to be a witless blatherskite whose only goal is to draw as much attention to himself as possible. We knew this in 2016 and we elected him anyway. Four years later he has shown he is a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars and his inept handling of the coronavirus ensures History will show he has blood on his hands. We deserve better than this, but we are not going to get it unless we demand it at the ballot box on Election Day.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow takes a while to figure out the solution to a simple problem.
…a guest came to the front desk at 0620, right as I was heading out to get the cart out of the storage room…He and co-worker had shared a room the past four nights and he wanted to put half the bill on his company card.
The solution to this is plain to even a dolt: go into billing and create another window, transfer two night’s charges to the second window, bill the second window and then refund the extra amount left on the first window.
But did ol’ Sparrow think of that???…At least right off? Nooooooooooo, he did not.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Sparrow has one of the slowest nights in the history of labor.
There were no calls. I would’ve worked just as hard had I stayed home and slept because I spent most of my time at the gate playing with a large squirt bottle. Mostly I would squirt bugs, but when there were no bugs around I would squirt the ground, either trying to squirt a certain area in as short a time as possible or pretending to be putting out a big fire. It varied. I have always enjoyed playing with squirt bottles.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 6: The first new column of the year, so get in on the laughs with the Bottom Ten pollsters as the race for the ESPNCup begins. Includes the latest Bottom Ten hardware, the COVID Cup, issued to the team actually playing football who has the longest streak. Offered with our compliments this year.
8. Navy (1-2; lost to Air Force 40-7)
Mitigating Factors: Midshipman heaving to for lousy start, setting tone not only for strong run for Sgt Bilko Trophy – symbolic of service academy lousiness – but for B-10 medal stand run as well…Enthusiasm in 2020 amongst Brigade of Midshipmen reportedly low, as student body sending Filipino mess attendants to go to games for them.
FunFact: Midshipmen hampered by Navy Secretary’s preseason ruling – in order to prevent spread of both COVID and the clap – to wear both face masks and condoms during games.
Next Loss: Temple
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1973 – The Yom Kippur War begins when Egypt and Syria launch a coordinated attack on Israel. The war ended on October 26 with both Egypt and Israel making territorial gains and with the defeat of Syria and would spur the 1978 Camp David Accords and an Egyptian/Israeli peace treaty the following year. History also refers to the conflict as the Ramadan War, the October War and the 1973 Arab-Israeli War.
In 1985 – Joe Montana of the San Francisco 49ers establishes a new NFL record for most past attempts in a game in a 38-17 win over the Atlanta Falcons. Montana threw 57 times – research into whose record he broke was inconclusive – and completed 37 of them for five touchdowns and zero interceptions. The mark has been exceeded many times and is now held by Drew Bledsoe, who had 70 pass attempts for the New England Patriots in 1994.
In 1973 – Cher is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Half-Breed. It was the second of four #1 songs for Cher as a solo act and her fifth of twelve Top 10 hits. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand and Canada and was Billboard’s 20th biggest song of the year. Previously, Cher had hit #1 with I’ve Got You Babe in 1965 as part of the duo Sonny and Cher.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Go for the top. If you aim for second you will end up there. – John F Kennedy
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The other two songs that spent nine weeks at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 before Debby Boone spent ten weeks at #1 in 1977 with You Light Up My Life were Theme From a Summer Place (Percy Faith, 1960) and Hey Jude (the Beatles, 1968).
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Cher holds the Hot 100 for longest stretch between #1 songs. How long is that stretch? – Answer next time!
