Editor(s) Note: Though some are fielding teams this year, the Mid-American Conference (MAC) is not and since there is no point to the NCAA Bottom Ten without MAC participation, the Bottom Ten is in reruns this year. Today, we are pleased to offer the Week 4 column from 2018 with our compliments.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 4
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
For the second, or maybe the third, consecutive season, Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere will have a #1 vs #2 game to feast on, as defending ESPNCup champions UTEP hosts New Mexico State. You could, we suppose, throw out the records for this one, but why on earth would you want to?
This week’s mess:
1. UTEP (0-3; lost to Tennessee 24-0)
Mitigating Factors: Offense hell-bent on second straight B-10 title, pitching not only shutout, but tossing rare perfect game, punting on all twelve (12) possessions, including eight (8) three (3) and outs…Miners making mockery of NCAA stat sheets – never particularly easy to do – ranking 100th or worse 15 official stat categories, and 120th or worse in seven (7) of them.
Hand Wringin’ Time: Though UTEP fan(s) pleased with shutout, mere 24 point margin of defeat causing some concern heading into this week’s showdown vs New Mexico State.
Next Loss: New Mexico State
2. New Mexico State (0-4; lost to New Mexico 42-25)
Mitigating Factors: Aggies rock B-10 runner-up spot for second consecutive week, dutifully blowing 14-0 lead as Total Team Effort (TTE) sees Aggies getting outscored 35-3 between end of first, start of fourth quarters…Complete inability run football, stop others from doing same keying B-10 run, as Aggies rank 125th in Rushing Defense (269.8) and 127th in Rushing Offense (64.3).
FunFact: Steady as she goes Aggies also rank 126th in both Scoring Offense and Scoring Defense, losing games by average score of 44.8-to-13.8.
Next Loss: at UTEP
3. Central Michigan (0-3; lost to Northern Illinois 24-16)
Mitigating Factors: Chippewas in seldom-sailed waters, having averaged 6.8 wins per season since 2012…Focused Chippewas easily brush off early 3-0 lead, with offense contributing fumble, while defense chips in, ending half by giving up consecutive touchdowns…Central Michigan seals loss by out-fair catching Huskies 2-1.
FunFact: While UTEP/NM State slug out for the top spot, Chippewas with golden opportunity to secure B-10 runner-up spot with loss Saturday to lower-level school.
Next Loss: Maine
4. UCLA (0-3; lost to Fresno State 38-14)
Mitigating Factors: New head coach Chip Kelly exceeding everyone’s expectations with early-season B-10 ranking out of tough Pac-12 South…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” Bruins first team with eleven (11) basketball national titles to “more or less ever” lose football game to past B-10 champion with nationally ranked chick equestrian squad…Bruins have lost three (3) straight to Bulldogs and haven’t beaten Fresno State since turn-of-century Clinton Administration.
FunFact: Another team getting first B-10 welcoming kit, Bruins 0-3 for only fourth time ever, and first time since 1971 squad’s 0-4 start.
Next Loss: at Colorado
5. Western Kentucky (0-3; lost to Louisville 20-17)
Mitigating Factors: 2009 B-10 champions back in white spotlight’s glare, off to best start this decade…Another team with enviable ability to blow lead, Hilltoppers actually lead 14-0 before yawning, sending in reserves to get outscored 20-3 rest of the way.
FunFact: With obligatory losses to national power, lower level school in first two (2) weeks, Hilltoppers can be in prime position for B-10 glory heading C-USA minefield with loss to MAC school this week.
Next Loss: at Ball State
6. UMess (1-3; lost to Florida International 63-24)
Mitigating Factors: B-10 staples since resuming major division football in 2012, Minutemen back for another shot at B-10 glory…UMess never in this one, racing out to 14-0 and 35-10 deficits…Turnovers key, as three (3) UMess turnovers lead to 14 (14) Florida International points, though considering the score would have been 49-24 without these points, they probably weren’t as key as initially thought.
FunFact: Win in opener made 2018 squad first UMess team since 1904 squad started 1-0-1, to not start major division season 0-2.
Next Loss: Charlotte
7. Earlham (0-3; lost to Bluffton 34-0)
Mitigating Factors: Division III Quakers retain vise-like grip on Continental Cup – issued to team with longest all-division losing streak in NATO – with 46th consecutive loss…Offense getting smiley faces on playbooks for posting first shutout of 2018…46 down, four (4) to go, as Quakers remain all in in chase for Macalester’s all-time D-III record of 50 consecutive losses.
FunFact: Losing streak celebration steering committee starting to contact Macalester alumni, to see if they have plans for weekend of 10/13, when Quakers scheduled to tie losing streak record.
Next Loss: Mount St. Joseph
8. Conference USA
Mitigating Factors: While 9-19 nonconference mark not quite as bad as MAC – no one’s that bad – C-USA still easy pick for weekly Conference of the Week honors thanks to having no less than four (4) 0-3 teams…C-USA also racks up big strength-of-schedule points with two (2) losses to lower-level teams, tied with ACC for best among major division conferences.
FunFact: Despite high number of winless teams, B-10 pollsters still “pretty sure” C-USA will be able to rally for strong .500 mark in conference play.
9. Nebraska (0-2; lost to troy – Troy! – 24-19)
Mitigating Factors: Now we know why Huskers offered to play canceled opener vs. Akron on airport runway at zero dark thirty on a Sunday morning: it was their best chance to win in 2018…B-10 staffers rushing to get B-10 welcoming kit out to new Husker coaching staff…Kit includes information on removing tar, feathers from body and U-Haul’s top-secret Quik-Get-A-Way 800 number.
Get Out Your History Books: Current, hot six (6)-game losing skid second-best in team history, behind only seven (7)-game skids by vaunted 1957, 1942-43 squads.
Next Loss: at Michigan
10. Bottom Ten Leaderboard
Mitigating Factors: Latest B-10 feature ranks Top 5 teams in Total Offense/Defense, Scoring Offense/Defense, assigning five (5) points for Dead Last ranking, four (4) for Next To Dead Last, you get the picture.
FunFact: UConn, unranked in this week’s survey, takes top Week 4 Leaderboard honors thanks to complete inability to prevent opponents from moving the ball in general and into their end zone specifically, with ten (10) points…UTEP and Northern Illinois are second with eight (8) points, while New Mexico State gets official shout out for being ranked in three (3) of four (4) categories.
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: New Mexico State at UTEP
Big Ten Thriller of the Week: Nebraska at Michigan
Good Seats Still Available: Charlotte at UMess
