The Daily Dose/August 26, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading Off is enjoying some PTO. It will return. Promise.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Another busy night at the hotel, as Sparrow works a missing person case with the local authorities.
After this, the cop dismisses me, instructing me to report back to the front desk – probably to set up a command post – and at 0350 he comes in to report the kid was found sleeping in the back stairwell at Hotel B.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: The crew throws an angry guest out of the hotel.
I did manage to lighten matters up, though. The guy was trying to get back on our good side by telling us how we were “just a bunch of fucking jack-off security guards” and X-Ray was all but fired and how we “only make a fucking quarter” of what he made.
I hold up an index finger.
“A fifth, sir. We probably make a fifth of what you make. Maybe a tenth, judging by your nice luggage.”
The Bottom Ten Presented By COVID-19/Preseason Q&A: The Bottom Ten is in reruns this year. This week your Bottom Ten pollsters are pleased to present the 2017 Preseason Q&A.
1. Will the service academies return to mediocrity? You guys sure missed them last year. Your lack of material was evident.
No kidding. Air Force, Army and Navy combined for a 27-12 record in 2016 forcing B-10 pollsters to look elsewhere – hi there VMI! – for military football material. Still, though, B-10 pollsters are optimistic and have their trusty, usual “Black Knights of Confusion” and “Army hindered by pregame Army Secretary ruling…” lines ready to go.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1748 – The Lutheran invasion of North America continues, as they form their first church on the continent in Philadelphia. Known as the German Evangelical Lutheran Ministerium of North America, usually shortened to Pennsylvania Ministerium, it was formed to help provide for well-trained clergy and later produced the first Lutheran liturgy in America. In 1918, the group merged into the United Lutheran Church in America, which is now the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.
In 1990 – Bo Jackson of the Kansas City Royals ties the major league records for most consecutive home runs and most consecutive home runs in two straight games in an 8-2 victory over the Seattle Mariners. Jackson’s second-inning home run off of Randy Johnson was his fourth consecutive home run and his first since hitting three consecutive home runs on July 17, a game in which he was later injured. Jackson was the 20th major leaguer to hit four consecutive home runs, and the mark has been duplicated seven times since.
In 1978 – Frankie Valli is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Grease. It was the second #1 solo hit for Valli (My Eyes Adored You, one week, 1975) and his sixth appearance at #1, following four #1 songs with the Four Seasons. The song spent eight weeks in the Top 10 and actually moved from #62 to #59 after it fell off the Top 40, rare for a record that has already hit its peak. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #3 in Great Britain and at #40 on Billboard’s soul chart.
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Civilizations come and go; they conquer the earth and crumble into dust; but faith survives every desolation. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol II: The Life of Greece
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Ray Parker, Jr’s first appearance on the Billboard Hot 100 was with the group Raydio, which five Top 40 hits between 1978 and 1981.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many career home runs did Bo Jackson have? – Answer next time!
