The Daily Dose/August 23, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom Five
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.
1. USA! USA! – Let’s be honest, America is not flourishing right now, it is floundering…Our country is a fractured, partisan, bickering mess, unable to muster a coordinated response to a virus that probably could have been dispatched months ago…Only nation to put men on moon now halfway between the prosperity and influence it once had and the oblivion that awaits it.
2. USA! USA! II – America deserves better than being disease-ridden and led by a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…Hold on to your hats, though, only 72 days until Americans herald to the world – and themselves – whether they’re ready to make some changes or not.
3. Jo Jorgensen – Despite knowing the moon is not part of Mars and having moderate, party-transcending policies on a variety of issues, Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters still “pretty sure” Libertarian nominee for president won’t get more than a smattering of votes this November.
4. Democratic Party Fact Check – The GOP hardly has an exclusive on misinformation…Click here for Democratic Party lies about the minimum wage.
5. President Trump Fact Check, Co-Starring Prominent Democrats – With major-party conventions underway, the misinformation flying like bombs at the Battle of Britain…Click here for the latest.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
It’s Read Free Sunday for your fave daily features.
The Diary of a Nobody: There’s a new touchless check-in procedure at the hotel.
…touchless check-in is ultimately academic, too, because you can implement all the touchless processes you want but you are still going to have to manually prepare the room keys…There’s no way around this…Both the key packet and keys must be touched by a human…Now, our keys are sanitized when they’re returned to the front desk, but if your desk clerk is wracked with COVID, you’re screwed.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon spends the night at the employee parking lot.
Judy and I actually moved on a call during this time. She was patrolling the employee lot when she got on the horn.
– Gaylon, did this gold van just pull in?
I had had my feet up and had no clue what the hell she was talking about. I tried to sound like I did, though.
– I’m not entirely sure.
Turns out it was a van parked nearby that had its back window missing, and, Judy thought, someone sleeping in it. So I rolled out of the shack and joined her.
I have my jacket on.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
History’s long march to today.
In 1942 – The Battle of Stalingrad begins in World War II, as Axis elements led by Nazi Germany battles the Soviet Red Army. The Germans would eventually control upwards of 90% of the city, though a November counterattack resulted in the Germans encirclement. The Battle of Stalingrad lasted until the following February, ending after the Germans surrendered. Stalingrad has been known as Volgograd since 1961.
In 1961 – The San Francisco Giants become the third team to hit five home runs in an inning in a 14-0 win over the Cincinnati Reds. The Giants got home runs from Orlando Cepeda, Felipe Alou, Jim Davenport, Willie Mays and John Orsino, along with five other hits and three Reds errors in the 12-run 9th inning. The Giants had also done it in 1939 and the Philadelphia A’s had done it in 1949 and since then the feat has been accomplished three more times.
In 1969 – Johnny Cash is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the first of five consecutive weeks with A Boy Named Sue. It was Cash’s tenth of 13 #1 songs on the country chart and also peaked at #2 on the Hot 100 and remains Cash’s only Top 10 pop hit. The song was written by Shel Silverstein and was recorded live at Cash’s famous concert at San Quentin State Prison in California
Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…and with the obstinate patience that is half of genius, he slowly carves the quarries into living statuary. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol 2: The Lives of the Greeks
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The first country to win the America’s Cup besides the United States was Australia, which won it in 1983.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Which team has given up five home runs in an inning the most times? – Answer next time!
