The Daily Dose/April 2, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

UP, UP, AND AWAY…FINALLY: After eight years, NASA’s Artemis program lifted off its first manned voyage, with Artemis II beginning a ten-day trip sending three men and one woman on a trip around the Moon. The countdown featured some tense moments and assorted problems, and in the air there were problems with the crapper, but the flight appears to be progressing as it should be. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The capsule will orbit Earth for a couple of days, checking out assorted systems, before heading to the Moon.

Quote That Sucker: Since nothing in this day and age can stand alone and must be hyped, the announcer who did the countdown announced right after liftoff that “Humanity’s next great voyage” had begun. 

Well, yes and no. Any trip to the Moon is great. This is the tenth time the US has sent humans to the Moon and the first time since Apollo 17 in 1972. Of course, it’s a big deal. 

Stop Us If You’ve Heard This Before: On the other hand, regular readers of this crap know our opinion on this matter: we could’ve had humans on Mars in the 1980s if we wanted to and now, in the third decade of the 21st century, lunar flights should have long been routine. We didn’t want to, though. Congress cut the following three Apollo missions, which meant we could forget about going to Mars, too.

Dry, Technical Matter II: Not only have we not gone back, but no other nation has even attempted to send humans to the Moon, which leads us to believe, perhaps, that Apollo was ahead of its time. But then again, no. Accomplishments happen in their own time, when we humans decide to go and make them happen, and it’s humanity’s fault for not building on the foundation laid in the 1960s. 

The Bottom Line: It’s time to catch up. We’re happy Artemis II finally launched, and like you, we hope their mission is a complete success. Honestly, we find it surprising it took us 53 years to fly to the moon again. And at the rate of two flights in eight years, it’s going to take forever to get to Mars, but as Apollo showed, one small step at a time.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow enjoys a night off. Today’s Diary. 

We had the usual delusions of getting tons of project and bonus project work done, but in the end, we were grateful for as little screen time as possible…

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1285 – Pope Honorius IV is elected in Peruglia in central Italy, three days after the death of Pope Martin IV. Honorius was 75 and suffered from either the gout or arthritis and was unable to either walk or lift his hands without assistance. He was made a cardinal by Pope Urban IV in 1261, but was not consecrated a priest until six weeks after his election. He is the most recent pope to be named Honorius and reigned for two years. 

In 1985 – Wayne Gretzky of the Edmonton Oilers established a new NHL record for most career hat tricks in a 6-4 victory over the Los Angeles Kings. Gretzky had three goals for his 34th career hat trick, breaking the record established by Phil Esposito from 1963-81. Gretzky would retire in 1999 with 50 career hat tricks, a record that still stands. 

In 2011 – Lady Gaga is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the sixth and final consecutive week with Born This Way. The song went to #1 in 24 other countries, including Israel, Hungary, and Finland, peaked at #3 in Great Britain, at #1 on Billboard’s dance chart, and was their 18th-biggest song of the year. It was the third of six #1s by Lady Gaga. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…nothing is harder to manage, more risky in the undertaking, or more doubtful of success than to set up as the introducer of a new order.
Niccolo Machiavelli
The Prince

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 album of 1967 was More of the Monkees by the Monkees, which spent 18 consecutive weeks at #1.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the last person elected pope who was not a priest? – Answer next time! 

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The Daily Dose/April 1, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

UP, UP, AND AWAY: We don’t know about you, but we we are as pleased as we we are surprised that NASA’s Artemis II mission hasn’t – as we write this – been delayed yet. Depending on when you’re reading this, of course, it still could be. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Artemis II is scheduled to lift off anytime between 6:42 pm and 8:42 PM EDT today. The mission is scheduled for ten days to test various systems, including life support and deep-space systems. Artemis will fly by – but not orbit – the Moon before turning around and returning home. Its closest point of approach to the Moon will be a bit more than 4,000 miles, and it is scheduled to splash down off the coast of San Diego. 

Get Out Your History Books: Its planned trajectory will take them 4,700 miles beyond the Moon, marking the farthest we humans have been from home and breaking the record set by Apollo 13 of 158 miles past the Moon. It is also expected to break Apollo 10’s record speed of 24,791 mph, achieved on reentry. 

LOL: One thing we’ve found funny in the lead-up to the launch is articles noting the space race going on between the Chinese and us regarding which country will be the first to land men on the Moon. NASA is on record as hoping to do it by 2028, while China wants to do it – stop us if you’ve heard this before – before this decade out. 

For The Record: China has flown seven unmanned missions to the Moon, four of which landed. 

The Bottom Line: People, listen, there is no race because it’s over, won by us in 1969. It was a heck of a race with the Soviets, too, and even though they had their share of attainments, America remains the only country to put humans on the Moon. If the Chinese really want to impress us, they can bring one of the six American flags we put on the lunar surface back to Earth.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – The Sparrow For Congress phone is up and running. Today’s Diary. 

To show my strong fiscal credentials, we got the least expensive phone and the least expensive plan we could find: a flip phone designed for old farts scared of technology…

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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 2004 – Google launches the Gmail email service. Today, Gmail has approximately 1.8 billion individual users, each of whom have an average of 1.7 accounts. It holds a bit more than 25% of email market share, good for second behind Apple,which has a bit less than half, and in 2022, about 121.6 billion emails were sent daily via Gmail. Before Gmail could launch, Google had to buy the gmail.com domain from the Garfield comic strip, which was planning to offer an email service. 

In 1954 – Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings establishes a new NHL playoff record for the fastest goal from the start of the game in a 4-3 overtime win over the Toronto Maple Leafs in the fifth and final game of the Stanley Cup semifinals. Howe scored nine seconds into the game, breaking the record of ten seconds that had been established by Dickie Moor of Montreal on March 25, and the record is now six seconds by Don Kozak of the Los Angeles Kings in April 1977. The Red Wings later won the Stanley Cup in seven games over the Montreal Canadiens. 

In 1967 – The Turtles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with Hapy Together. It was the fourth of nine Top 40 hits for the group, their second of five Top 10s, and remains their only #1 song. The song also peaked at #12 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 8th-biggest song of the year. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Men almost always prefer to walk in paths marked out by others and pattern their actions through imitation…a prudent man should always follow the footsteps of the great and imitate those who have been supreme.
Niccolo Machiavelli
The Prince

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

George III was king of Great Britain from 1760 to 1820. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Billboard’s #1 album of 1967? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 31, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

UP, UP, AND AWAY: hardly for the first time, the Artemis II mission is scheduled to take off, this time on Wednesday afternoon. It’s going to fly around the Moon – and not even orbit – before returning to Earth. The trip is scheduled to last ten days. 

USA! USA! We’ve been critical of our space program recently, but we’re pretty patriotic here, and we hope the mission takes off on schedule, that everything goes according to plan, and the crew returns safely. We’re not overflowing with confidence, though. Recall  the mission has already been delayed twice this year for the same liquid hydrogen leak – plus another helium issue – which isn’t cause for optimism.

Running The Numbers: There’s more, though, something we noted here recently: it took NASA 2,979 days to go from nothing to landing on the Moon. During that time, they made 16 manned missions. In 3,045 days, the Artemis program has had only one flight, an unmanned voyage four years ago. This is not the output of an organization humming on all cylinders and does nothing to make us feel NASA could fly a paper airplane, much less send people to the Moon and back. 

The Bottom Line: Again, we hope this mission is 100% accomplished and sets lays the groundwork for NASA accomplishing its goals of a lunar station and a manned mission to Mars. But something tells us it will be delayed again.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow (again) denies a request for after-hours pool access. Today’s Diary. 

Then what happens if we do let him in and he falls and hurts himself???…Then we’re getting sued for letting him in after established pool/hot tub hours… Or, more accurately, the hotel’s getting sued and ol’ Sparrow is getting fired…Eff that noise, as we used to say in the Nav…

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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1774 – King George III of Great Britain gives assent to the Boston Port Act, an act passed by Parliament to block Boston Harbor. It, along with some other acts, were passed in retaliation for the Boston Tea Party thrown by patriots in December. The act closed the port to all ships regardless of business, and was the impetus for the meeting of the First Continental Congress in September. The act was repealed on January 1, 1776. 

In 1985 – The Old Dominion Monarchs win the NCAA women’s basketball title, defeating the Georgia Bulldogs 70-65 in Austin, Texas. It was the third and most recent collegiate national title for the Monarchs, who had won AIAW titles in 1979 and 1980, and was the first of two runner-up finishes for the Bulldogs. The Monarchs tied the women’s Final Four record with 57 rebounds in the game, tying the record they had set in their semifinal win over Northeast Louisiana. 

In 1979 – Sister Sledge is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the only week with He’s the Greatest Dancer. It was the fifth of 16 Top 40 soul hits for the group, and their first of two #1s. The song also peaked at #9 on the Hot 100, at #1 on Billboard’s dance chart, went #1 dance in Canada, and #6 pop in Great Britain. Sister Sledge last appeared on a Billboard chart in 1993 when a remix of We Are Family peaked at #31 on the dance chart. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

But shortsighted men undertake policies for their immediate advantage, paying no heed to the slow poison hidden within them.
Niccolo Machiavelli
The Prince

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

The oldest continuously operating US embassy or consulate is the US Consulate in Ponta Delgada, Azores, which opened during the George Washington administration in 1795.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How long was George III king of Great Britain? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 30, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

PLAY BALL…OR WHATEVER THEY DO IN SOCCER: The time has come for the World Cup to be moved out of the US. Between kidnapping the leader of Venezuela, murdering their mariners on the open seas, and bombing schoolgirls in Iran, America has not been a good neighbor lately and has forfeited the right to host international sporting events. 

Dry, Technical Matter: History shows there is precedent for moving – and even canceling – international sporting events because of war. There would costs of course, both financial and logistical, but the world can bear those. Ideally, FIFA would say enough, postpone it for a year, and move it to a country that doesn’t kidnap world leaders or bomb schoolgirls. We’re not betting the rent money on this, though.

Fly In The Ointment: If FIFA won’t take action, then the time has come for countries to boycott the 2026 World Cup. And it doesn’t have to be all 48 teams, either, just enough so that FIFA cannot have a legitimate tournament, thereby forcing their hand to move the tournament. 

The Bottom Line: This is not likely to happen, either, because both America and the world would rather appease President Donald Trump than tell him he is a lying, ignorant, admitted sexual predator, a man of no moral or intellectual substance. Nobody is doing this, however, so America will continue to get a free pass despite kidnapping foreign leaders, killing innocent people in international waters, and bombing schoolgirls. We deserve better than this, but the planet is not demanding better from America right now. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has to transfer a phone call. Today’s Diary. 

We had some zero clue how to do it on the new system, but there was a Transfer button on the screen, and you don’t have to be Alexander Graham Bell to be pretty sure that was the button to hit…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1965 – A car bomb explodes outside the US Embassy in Saigon. Two Americans, 19 Vietnamese, and one Filipino were killed in the attack, which destroyed the first three stories of the 5-story building. Congress soon authorized funds to rebuild the embassy, but President Johnson declined to engage in retaliatory strikes. 

In 1991 – The Northern Michigan Wildcats win the NCAA Division I ice hockey title, defeating the Boston University Terriers 8-7 in three overtimes in St Paul, Minnesota. BU led 3-0 at the end of the first period, but trailed 7-4 in the third period before tying it with 39 seconds remaining. It remains the only national championship game appearance for Northern Michigan and was the third of seven runner-up finishes for the Terriers, along with five titles. 

In 2024 – Teddy Swims is at # on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Lose Control. It was the first of three Top 40 hits for Swims and remains his only Top 10 hit. The song went to #1 in twelve other countries, including Bulgaria and Slovenia, peaked at #2 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s #1 song of 2024 and its 4th-biggest of 2025. The song’s 114 weeks on the chart and 80 weeks in the Top 10 established all-time Hot 100 records that still stand. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…all men are ready to change masters in the hope of bettering themselves.
Niccolo Machiavelli
The Prince

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Washington State has won two NCAA team championships: boxing in 1937 and indoor track in 1977. Boxing was discontinued as an NCAA sport in 1960. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What is the oldest continuously operating US consulate or embassy? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 29, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things. 

1. Israeli War In Gaza – War still a genocide, of course, with deaths in Gaza now over the 72,000 mark…In exciting development, Yemen now involved and firing missiles into Israel, as first reports of IDF personnel shortages are starting to be heard. 

2. Nicolas Maduro – Former Venezualan leader kidnapped by Trump Administration still in custody in Brooklyn jail on assorted charges…Had court appearance this week, where his request to have charges dismissed were denied…How his lawyers will be paid was also discussed… No trial date has been set, and could be up to a year away. 

3. USA! USA! – The 3-hole staple…Well-entertained and well-fed masses still not completely up in arms over kidnapping of foreign leader, the bombing of school girls, and the general witlessness offered by President Trump, a man of zero moral or intellectual substance…We deserve better, but we are not demanding it right now. 

4. Tariffs – Still being levied, including a general 10% tariff on everything, plus 50% tariffs on steel and aluminum…Tariffs are paid by companies doing importing, costs that are passed on to you and me – we the people…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” this is another tax on us, with the almost $200 billion raised money taken not being invested, saved, or spent, meaning it money taken directly out of the economy

5. Canada As 51st State – Trump’s gold standard of witlessness, this never got any serious traction, of course, with recent post credited to Trump saying he’s lost interest generally regarded as satire. ght. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Today’s Diary entry is on the house. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow deals with a shady character. Today’s Diary. 

…tho we’ve already decided not to rent to him…You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to strongly suspect something is fishy here, and no hotel needs that.  

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1974 – The US probe Mariner 10 becomes the first spacecraft to fly by Mercury. Mariner’s 2,800-plus photos showed a moonlike surface and a thin, unstable atmosphere consisting mostly of helium. Earlier, the probe had flown by Venus, becoming the first spacecraft to visit two planets. It was the final flight of the Mariner program, with Mariners 11 and 12 becoming the Voyager probes. 

In 1941 – The Wisconsin Badgers win the NCAA basketball title, defeating the Washington State Cougars 39-34 in Kansas City. In the East Regional in Madison, Wisconsin defeated Dartmouth and Pittsburgh, while Washington State defeated Creighton and Arkansas in the West Regional tournament in Kansas City. The game remains the only national championship game appearance for both teams. 

In 1964 – The Beatles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final consecutive week with She Loves You. The song went to #1 in six other countries, including Norway and Great Britain, and was their second of a Hot 100 record 20 #1. The song followed I Want To Hold Your Hand and preceded Can’t Buy Me Love at #1, marking the only time in Hot 100 history an act replaced themselves at #1 twice. A German version was the Beatles’ smallest US hit, peaking at #97. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

He had the courage to defy his enemies because he did not have the intellect to doubt his truth. He was what he had to be to do what he had to do.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. VI: The Reformation
Regards Martin Luther

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 song of 1981 was Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes, which spent nine non-consecutive weeks at the top. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many NCAA team national championships has Washington State won? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!