The Daily Dose/September 6, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things. 

1. Donald Trump – Still an ignorant liar, still a convicted felon and admitted sexual predator, still a man of zero moral or intellectual substance…A question for Trump supporters: which one of these traits continues to lock in your support???

2. JD Vance – US vice president trying to go toe-to-toe with President Trump in witlessness department, saying about the war with Iran that he “wouldn’t call it a war”…This from a former Marine, who can generally be counted on to recognize combat operations when they see them.

3. Gaylon For Congress…Vote Early, Vote Often – The 3-hole staple…The big push begins this week, as nobody really starts caring about Congressional campaigns until after Labor Day…Or at least they’re not interested in Gaylon’s until after Labor Day…The choice is clear: the status quo – the ignorance of Donald Trump, perpetual war, and $40 trillion of debt – or vote for Gaylon and get some common sense in these uncommon times. 

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is the Libertarian Party’s nominee for the US House from Colorado’s 2nd District. Click here to contribute to the campaign. 

4. Rutgers – College football’s oldest program – they played in the first game vs Princeton in 1869 – still isn’t any good after 157 years, decisively snapping UMass’ nation’s-best 16-game losing streak this weekend…Though hilarious Bottom Ten column is retired now, Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” they’d be ranked #1 in this week’s survey had there actually been one. 

5. LA Clippers – One of NBA’s landmark franchises at 600 (or so) games under .500 in their history, won’t be contending anytime soon after NBA, among other penalties, takes away five 1st-round draft picks and suspends everyone not wearing sneakers for circumventing league’s salary cap…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters busy looking for a few bucks to pick up team on the cheap when they’re sold later this year. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow concludes a good week in the sack. Today’s Diary.

Regular readers of this crap know the weekly figure is a few hours off last week’s darn-near historic mark, but we made a day trip Tuesday and lost a few hours, but we’re not whining about it…Too strongly, at least…

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Of course you would.
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It’s easy reading on any device. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1492 – Christopher Columbus and his flotilla of three ships  – the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria – leave the Canary Islands, their final port-of-call on their voyage to the New World. Columbus had left Spain on August 5, and stopped in the Canary Islands for supplies and ship repairs. Columbus would discover the New World on October 11, at what are now the Bahamas. Columbus would make a total of four voyages, the last ending in 1504. 

In 1883 – The Chicago White Stockings – now the Cubs – establish new major league records for most runs and hits in an inning in a 26-6 win over the Detroit Wolverines. The Cubs scored 18 runs on 18 hits in the seventh inning, research into whose records they broke was inconclusive, and the records still stand. White Stocking players also established individual, single-inning records for total bases (8), runs (3), and hits (3) that still stand. The Wolverines were in the National League from 1881-88.  

In 2014 – Taylor Swift is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of four non-consecutive weeks with Shake It Off.  The song went to #1 in ten other countries – including Mexico, Japan, and Slovakia – peaked at #2 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 13th-biggest song of the year and its 18th-biggest of 2015. It was the second of 14 #1 songs for Swift.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Why is it always only a matter of choosing between something bad and something worse?
Charles Bukowski
Ham On Rye

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The major league record for most consecutive at-bats with a base hit is 12, done five times, most recently by Tyler Tolbert of the Kansas City Royals this season. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Which monarchs sponsored Christopher Columbus’ four voyages? – Answer next time!  

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The Daily Dose/September 5, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes From Around Our Human Experience

HUT, HUT, HIKE: College football begins in earnest this weekend, and we are pleased to report the sport is as big a fiasco as ever. The Big Ten and SEC cannot agree on how to expand the CFP, everybody is still in it for themselves, and those cut from NFL teams want to enter the transfer portal.

And The Winner Is…: The Big Ten/SEC stalemate is a good example of the inmates running the asylum, and they can’t decide whether to expand the playoffs to 16 or 24 teams.

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Both proposals suck. Longtime readers of this crap know we have long favored a 32-team playoff. Ideally, the NCAA would have sponsored this, but that is of no consequence. A 32-team CFP could begin Thanksgiving weekend, end on New Year’s Day, and would become an American classic faster than you can say “NIL”.

Fly In The Ointment: Nothing is really going to change because all elements – players, coaches, schools, conferences, networks – are all in it for themselves, everyone looking to strafe the marketplace – ultimately meaning you and me – for every last possible dollar. There is no common goal, except greed.

Dry, Technical Manner: The most recent quagmire involves players who left college after last season, gave the NFL a shot and didn’t make it, and now want to return to college. They are suing to return under a new NCAA rule that gives athletes five years to complete five full seasons, though the rule doesn’t apply to those who entered college in 2022. They are the ones suing, and the Power 4 conferences have all passed rules forbidding their return. 

More Official Daily Dose Policy: We discussed this earlier: we say let them back in. They never played in a regular-season game – and some didn’t even play in an exhibition1 game – and the college teams they want to join all have millionaire players on their rosters anyway. Now, today’s college kids aren’t technically employees but they’re making money playing college football; those who left who would otherwise have been eligible should be allowed to return. 

The Bottom Line: Everyone associated with major division college football is either a pimp, whore, or john, or, as likely as not, all three. But we’re going to watch anyway, meaning all five elements can keep strafing us for as much money as possible. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow eats some fairly spicy food. Today’s Diary. 

Half our blood is Mexican, but the love of spicy food completely bypassed us, and we’ve long avoided anything hotter than table salt…

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Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1774 – In Philadelphia, the First Continental Congress of the United Colonies opens its first session. Twelve of the 13 colonies – Georgia declined to attend  – elected Peyton Randolph of Virginia president and accepted the credentials of the delegates. The Congress met at Carpenter’s Hall until October 26 and featured two future presidents of the United States – George Washington and John Adams – and one future chief justice, John Jay. 

In 1921 – Elmer Smith of the Cleveland Indians establishes a new major league record for most consecutive extra-base hits in a 12-8 loss to the St Louis Browns in the second game of a doubleheader. Smith had two doubles and three home runs in the doubleheader, which followed two doubles the day before, for seven consecutive extra-base hits. Research into whose record he broke was inconclusive, and Earl Sheely of the Chicago White Sox tied it in 1926. Smith’s streak ended the following day with a first-inning pop out. – Editor’s Note: Some sources say Sheely had eight consecutive extra-base hits, but a check of box scores and play-by-play accounts show he only had seven. 

In 1970 – Edwin Starr is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with War. It was the third of four Top 40 hits for Starr and remains his only Top 10 song. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #3 in Great Britain, at #3 on Billboard’s soul chart, and was Billboard’s 5th-biggest song of the year. The song was originally recorded by the Temptations, who declined to release it as a single, and in 1986 a version by Bruce Springsteen peaked at #8.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

What did he do?/He made counterfeit dimes./Dimes? Jesus Christ, what kind of ambition is that?
Charles Bukowski
Ham On Rye

Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.

Igor Ter-Ovanesyan of the Soviet Union held the men’s world long jump record before Bob Beamon, jumping 27 feet, 4.5 inches in October, 1967.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who holds the major league record for most consecutive at-bats with a base hit? – Answer next time!  

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Beloved Reader(s),

The Daily Dose will – all together now – return, probably tomorrow.

Please, click here to enjoy today’s entry in The Diary of a Nobody. 

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Valued Reader(s),

Sparrow is back with a recap of the past three days. Click here to read it.

The Daily Dose will otherwise return.

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